Beach Trip to Neskowille

Oh how we do love the beach! We learned about this particular seaside from the Roposopes the night of the barbecue. Tucked away in a secret little village, that apparently never changes or moves forward, is the most enchanting beach spot! The weather was warm, but not much sun! Just as well since we forgot our furscreen! No singeing for our furry little family! Where do I even begin? We had to stay up with ancient Neskowille tradition and document this trip by having our picture taken, complete with date, down near this gynormous rock called Proposition Cliff. Rumor has it this was named after Curley Bond (no relation to James . . .) propositioned marriage to Stella Book. Many try to climb the big rock . . . some make it . . . some don’t. We fell into the ‘don’t’ category. We huffed and puffed and willowed our way up! But it was just too steep for us little willows to make it all the way to the top. We determined that we might either fall off and be swept away in the big ocean or get carried off by the Big Mama Bald Eagle who was watching our every move. Wouldn’t we have been a tasty little morsel for eagle babies? Way off in the distance above the sounds of the crashing waves, we could hear what sounded like a Sea Captain’s voice exclaiming, “Blustery Barnacles and Ocean Tours Ahead!” Well of course the kids just had to go and check it out! To all of our surprise around the corner from Proposition Cliff was a creek and a dock with none other than Captain Pigwasher and his sea gull named One Legged Pig’s Feet. He was offering trips on the Jolly Rancher Ship over to Willigan’s Island, which was a three hour tour . . . a three hour tour!! We willowed quickly down the dock! One Legged Pig’s Fee, we learned, had a bit of an attitude towards anything without any legs and he swooped us up and dropped us right on top of weather vain. About that time a huge gust of wind came up and we barely were able to hang on. Round and round we flew, our fur flapping in the breeze! Captain Pigwasher, the woody ole captain, demanded One Legged Pig’s Feet carry us to safety. We gave him huge hugs and of course the kids said “thanks for the nice time!” With all the excitement we hadn’t seen the rest of the tourists who were getting on board as well! There of course was Willigan, who owns the island; Captain Grumpy the Skipper, Thirsty and Lively Howe, Miss Clove Granite, Mr. Brain Fellow and Miss Merry Ann Winters. They acted as if they had done this tour before and wanted to know if we wanted their autographs. “For what?” we asked. They weren’t famous TV stars were they? The boat set sail and off we went into the wild blue yonder. Captain Pigwasher and Captain Grumpy taught us all sorts of sea captain sayings. Whenever we would see a whale, we would all shout “Walloping Whales”. The whales must have been trained to wallop us with their tail and splash us when they heard that sound. We got very wet and wet fur doesn’t smell very good! Next we shouted “Sabulous Seagulls”. Well don’t you know that One Legged Pig’s Feet didn’t take so kindly to that? We were calling him gritty! He squawked for some of his high flying friends. They zoomed in and got us with their upwash while flying in formation. The captains were both quite pleased with themselves and enjoyed watching everyone run for cover. Finding cover wasn’t too hard for us. Our family climbed into the pocket protector of Mr. Brain Fellow! Our arrival back to shore was in three hours, like we were promised. The tour ended and all promptly went to the little store called Fresh Outs to buy soap and something to eat! What a wonderful day and the kids slept well that night dreaming of pig’s feet and pig washers!

1st Annual Barbecue!

I know it’s been quite a while since I have written about our family adventures, but we have just been so busy this summer! Events have been happening one right after the other. Since we are so wee and willowish, we aren’t big enough to carry a lap top on our adventures! It would squish us into a pile of flat fur. Anyway, we had the most wonderful 1st annual barbecue pot luck. We were invited by the nicest people who live in Opville. Their names are Ropodnopey and Jopanopey Ropose. Such strange names, but they were very hospitable in an ‘op-ish’ sort of way. Couldn’t understand much of what they said, so we all just smiled, nodded and replied “yah, yah” to most of what they said! What a fun time we had. Never been to a potluck. Wasn’t sure what that meant. Hum we bring our own honey buckets! The pot in pot luck! And if we would have luck climbing up inside it without falling in! But NO - - - I was totally wrong. It meant we all contributed something to eat. Stefy Anne and Kojack Koffee Klommer brought a potato salad that was more like mashed potatoes. Weston almost got stuck in the spuds! He thought it was a willowy–pillowy inflatable pile of cotton! Our daughter, Wilena thinks she wants to be a willowgan/vegetarian (she’s trying to watch her willow figure before school starts again!) and she loved what our town photographer Bee Kay Blok and Brin Brin Corncobber brought! I must say I was a bit concerned since the main ingredient in her salad was mushrooms. I’ve been reading that some mushrooms do funny things to the brain, but Bee Kay assured us disturbed parents that no altered willow-state would happen! As you can see from the picture we also got to indulge ourselves with the best hamburgers this side of Netwille. I do believe the best part of the burgies was Jayre K. Lee’s homemade buns! Everyone kept talking about Jayre K. Lee’s buns! Best buns in town!! Gregzu Furrth was also in attendance. You may remember the story about the Legend of Sam I Am, the big fish? Anyway Gregzu Furrth had lived near BeHynd Websu for awhile and we weren’t well acquainted with him before. But boy oh boy, we are now and does he ever know how to entertain. He has such a great sense of humor and enthralled us with songs from a British show called Monty Python!! The early evening turned into night time! I was a little troubled when it got dark. Opville is a vast area of many gardens and several decks. In the dark, we could have become flat fur on the bottom of someone’s shoe! But the Ropeses thought of everything! They provided candle light and Tiki torches to help with safety and ambiance! Those Roposes sure do delight in showing love and charity! Can’t wait until the 2nd annual barbecue!

Happy Almost 4th of July

Netwille is all a buzz as we prepare for the 4th of July. Sir Lawrence of Waggnia hosted a town meeting to discuss with us the preparations for all the festivities that would be going on. He, Sir Lawrence, was in rare form last evening and I must say he willow-trailed away from the topic at hand. We kept trying to reel him back in, but to no avail. Right in the middle of the planning he stopped and said:

“What do you call a willow with no arms and legs that is attached to a wall? ART”
“What do you call a willow with no arms and legs that is in a pool? BOB”
“What do you call a willow with no arms and legs that is in the bushes? RUSSELL”
“What do you call a willow with no arms and legs that is on the porch? MATT”

Where did that all come from??!! Anyway, we are going to have a huge parade and encouraging all the kids to bring their pets dressed in red, white and blue! Sir John Ander and son will be the Grand Marshall for the parade. Rumor has it Sir John Ander and son will be doing a fly over in an airplane. Of course our son who was abducted and later found in The Lucky Duck plane wants to be flying with them. Not sure about that!

We are all decorating our homes in patriotic colors and there will be a contest for the best dressed home! Don’t you know my wife, Wilamina is all over that! Miss Décor and More!!

Each block and community will host a barbeque complete with hotdogs, hamburgers and the works. I have asked that because of our size that maybe we could do cocktail weenies instead. Our favorite brand is DWs. There is no way we could eat a huge hotdog.

To top the day off, there will be a fireworks display between town and Websu Port. No one has ever shot off fireworks here before so we are thinking we should hire someone to help. Someone suggested Uncle Sam, but I don’t think he is up for the challenge – if you get what I mean! Sir Danashay Furr’s name came up, but he’s been pretty busy of late putting together a reality TV show. I’m hoping once it gets off the ground, that maybe the Willow Family would be a good nominee for an upcoming show! OK, now I’m willow-trailing!!

I sure hope the weather is good and NO rain! Have a wonderful July 4th. We as a country have so much to be thankful for and are truly blessed to be here in America!

Let’s go Bowling Daddy!!

Wouldn’t you just know it, now that school is out the kids want to go everywhere and do everything. I think because of our Memorial Day Weekend, they think we are capable of every kind of entertainment under the sun! So with much furvor, we the Willow Family joined a bowling league. The bowling alley is located in Beaverville. Even though our family members are devout Ducks, we ventured over!

Bee Kay Blok, the town photographer, was so kind to help us get started. She helped us read all the instructions There is a lot to learn about bowling and sure are a lot of rules. Not quite sure why we were to call the pins by their number. So when it was my time to bowl, I called down to the pins “Hello #7, hello #8!” I received quite a few stares. Maybe my voice was too high? The rules also state to do your best - - - I don’t think we were strong enough to push those big balls very far, but we followed the rules and did our best! Our other team members were Asil Rumble and Ge’Orge Kloggershoe. They really helped fill in the gaps to round out our first bowling experience. I'm sure they were a bit stunned at our size. They were very pleasant and told us we were welcome anytime!

Bee Kay Blok’s boyfriend, Brin-Brin Corncobber is quite a character and kept enticing the kids to go on the bowling ball ride. Never heard of such a thing before. Brin-Brin had them wait in line on the ball on the bulls eye mark for their turn. They strapped on their helmets and jumped inside the holes. Of course my wife was a nervous Nellie and thought they might somehow fall out. Brin-Brin convinced us nothing bad would happen. Well - - the ball went flying down the lane, into the gutter and then launched into the next lane over. The ball with our little precious furry ones collided with another ball, and it looked more like a game of pool with big balls than bowling. When all said and done, in the third lane over, the ball with Weston & Wilena in it got a strike! Everyone cheered except us! We were so concerned! Never having bowled before we were horrified when this big scoop pushed everything into a large hole and the ball, with our children in it, disappeared down into a vast pit. Bee Kay and Brin-Brin we laughing so loud that the entire bowling alley stopped to watch. “But where are our children?” All we got were howls of hysteria as they pointed to the three lanes over and low and behold the ball popped back up. The kids were a bit wide-eyed, but I think they enjoyed the ride! We had great fur-family-fun! We’ll definitely be back. Not sure if we should listen to Brin-Brin Corncobber next time though!

Road Trip Part 3

Last day of our trip was Memorial Day. I was kind of sad. This was a wonderful experience, but I must say that the kids, especially Weston, were getting a bit out of control. I know he just got so excited, but he continued to run off and because of his size, he might have end up somewhere where he shouldn’t be. Case in point! We went to the Storey County Fireman’s Museum. Weston is very enthralled with fire trucks. He didn’t wait for us and the tour guide asked if anyone wanted to climb up to the top of the building and ring the bell! Well don’t you know that Weston went willy-nilly up the building and by the time we found him, he was hanging onto the ringer of the bell screaming, “Hey look at me! I’m brave as can be!” And of course our daughter, Wilena couldn’t be out done, so she followed Weston! My wife just about jumped out of her fur! Thank goodness she didn’t. Our last adventure was on a tour bus. I don’t know about you, but sometimes those busses can be a bit much - - - Can’t hear the tour guide and their voices are very muffled. I learned that these tours can be a wonderful sit down, take a load off and take a nap time!! But as things would have it, I didn’t get much of a rest! There was a truck and motorcycle rally going on and guess what?? Our children wanted to partake in those as well. So the tour bus stopped so they could say “they had done it all”. Complete with pictures! Well the road trip is over and on a scale of 1-10, our family would give it an 11! Thank you Grezu Furrth and St. Evan Armchair from the bottom of our fur for letting us travel with you!

Road Trip – Part 2

We all woke up this morning with willow bags under our furry little eyes. The kids were a bit grumpy, but once we got going on with the sight-seeing and fun, they really rallied! Our first stop was at a very noisy arcade. We don’t have arcades in Netwille so we have nothing to compare it to! Are they really always that loud? We couldn’t understand the first table we came to. It looked like a foosball table. The kids jumped right into the middle. I can see why. It looked like there were willows on each side cheering them on to run from one end of the table to the next. But apparently they were just some sort of marble stone. There were all kinds of funny shaped markings on the table too. Some were diamonds, some were hearts, some were clubs and some were spades. Like I said, it was so loud we couldn’t hear the instructions. We became a bit concerned when the look on the face of the individual running this table seemed very agitated with Wilena and Weston. He was flailing his arms and just about hit the kids off the table. What’s up with that? We didn’t know. Still not sure what we were supposed to do! Next on our agenda was walking the board walk where we ended up at the Delta Saloon. We didn’t think they would let the kids in because of their age. Weston was just fascinated with what might be the Suicide Table and started begging “please let me go in”. That kind of willow-whining doesn’t set well with us! We told him he could go get some cheese to go with his whine!! Weston didn’t understand that at all! Since we weren’t sure if the Suicide Table was appropriate for his little furry eyes, I jumped up onto the sign to peer in. There was just too much going on inside for me to see! So we moseyed on with our adventure! Our last experience of the day was panning for gold. Oh my furry gracious goodness!! That was quite the experience. The Mark Twain Museum was incredible. I think I have heard of Mark Twain. Didn’t he write children’s books and build a big Paddle Boat, ‘back in the day’? Anyway, we toured the museum and then we were taken to this big waterfall trough area. We were given pans and screens and told to scoop our pans into the water and try and find little nuggets of gold by sifting them through the screens. It was very tiring! Weston was out of control and got caught in the waterfall and wisked downstream! Thank goodness someone at the bottom scooped him up and returned him to us! He said it was the best water slide he had ever been on! Of course you can imagine how willow-worried-we-were!
Day is done, gone the sun! And so will Weston if he doesn’t calm down!! More tomorrow!

Memorial Day Weekend Road Trip! Part 1

And oh what a road trip it was. Our family was invited to caravan to Reno and be a part of the Corvette Road Rally. Sheeesh what a long trip it was! We were all tightly pressed into a van with about 15 other people. Grezu Furrth and his nephew St. Evan Armchair from Websu-Port were so kind in inviting us and then allowed us to participate in all the activities of the weekend. Not mention they carried us wherever we went. Our first day there, of course we had to have a family picture taken. You know the kind where you stick your head inside a cutout! Yes, I know we all look like ladies, but we just all wanted to be together! Next on our list of things to do was go walk the streets of Virginia City. There we found the most authentic old miner, named Mr. Geezer, walking the streets with his donkey named Daisy Mae. What a gentle donkey. Our wee willows, Wilena and Weston, once again willowed with delight as Mr. Geezer allowed them to perch themselves inside Daisy’s hat. The flowers gave Weston an allergy attack, but he enjoyed it none the less. Thank goodness for Clariwilloton. To end the day we went to the slot machines. Willows are not known for gambling, nor do we really understand why anyone would put money into a machine and nothing comes out! We watched people for hours losing their quarters. Every now and then someone would put in a quarter and bells and whistles would go off and look out!!! Quarters would come flying out of an opening at the bottom. We had to be very careful that we didn’t get scooped up! Being silver in color, there were a couple of times we almost got carted off by some stranger! It’s been a long day and we need our willow-rest. I think our fun meter is broken for this day!! More later!

Take Me Out To The Ball Game!

The employees of Will.Biz started a softball team. They were so kind to ask if we wanted to have a team, and be a part of the league. We were a bit hesitant at first since their employees are much bigger than we are and they have such long legs and arms! How in the world could this possibly be fair? It would probably take us at least 24 hours to run to even one base. Not to mention the balls that are pitched are probably about 300 times bigger than we are. Do you think they just want to ensure that their team will make it to the championship games??!! Probably not, they are just the nicest group of individuals. I think they want to encourage us to be team oriented and also what a wonderful way to work on willow-wellness. We decided ‘why not’!! We named our team the Wild Willopegs. Some of the team players changed their names so they wouldn’t seem so wee-willowish. They would rather be more like the big guys in the big leagues! So we have David Wills, Nick Willhotte, Walt Willnot and James Willowghby all on the starting team. We have had to improvise on some things though. For example, we have a cannon launcher that we pitch the balls through to the batters. Instead of the batters of the Will.Biz team running to the bases, they agreed to crawl backwards to the bases. If the ball is hit further than the cannon launcher, it’s considered an automatic out. When it is the Wild Willopeg’s time up to bat, we have been given a handicap of 1,200. Not sure what that means, but I think it is in our favor! Since the grass on the field isn’t cut real short, and we would get lost, Will.Biz has agreed to launch us through the cannon launcher to the bases. Wearing helmets is a must since we had to sign off on an injury waiver. Just think about it! We’ll go BING to the bases and shout ‘Yaaahoooo’!! A few allowances are needed for our wee willows! The game last week was rained out. We were checking the weather report on the computers provided for us and it was our understanding that if we hit the ‘refresh’ button the weather would improve. Didn’t work. Any suggestions? - - Stay tuned for more Strike one, two, three!

The Lunch Room Egg-splosion!

The lunch room at the Willow Plant is usually filled with idle willow chatter, employees checking their webernet mail, deciding what to have for lunch and comparing notes from the morning routine. On a particular day, of a particular week, of a particular month all the mundane lunch room business changed in one large POOF! Everyone was minding their own willow-business when there was a horrendous bomb sounding noise followed by a crackling sound. I turned around just in time to see the microwave door fly open and this yellow and white semi-liquid ooze came flying out of the microwave and went everywhere: Floor - - - ceiling - - - walls - - - counter - - - and for those willows who were too close, it saturated them! What a horrible smell. Two of the worst smells in the world are burning/melting plastic and burnings eggs! Put the two together and what do you get? “Ickity, Stickity Goo”! What an awful stench . . . what an awful mess . . . what a broken microwave! So the moral of this story is: If you go to heat hard boiled eggs, don’t let them slop in a plastic container and be sure and remove the egg shell!

A 5 lb Burrito!

So, in keeping with Cinco De Mayo, our community thought it would be fun stepping out of our comfort zone and host Netwille’s 1st Annual 5 lb Burrito Eating Contest. A little restaurant called Taco del Wilmar thought, “hum . . . what a great way to get some extra business.” I don’t think they were counting on the size of the male specimen who would try and eat the burrito. Nor were they prepared for the droves of spectators. There were so many that Taco del Wilmar had to hold others at bay outside the restaurant. They still got all involved and were cheering those onto victory. Our contestant literally came rumbling into town. “Fee – Fii – Foo – Fum, I smell the fur of a Willow mun” He was the most gionic giant we had ever seen! He had arms of steel, and hopefully a stomach that was going to match! He introduced himself to everyone as Fuzzik Bergland. I wonder if he was of any relation to Fezzik from The Princess Bride? Our family got front row seats to the contest. And when I say front row, I mean on Fuzzik’s arm, his shoulder and also the table. It was a bit concerning watching Fuzzik pour Tabasco sauce on his burrito. I was troubled we might get it in our eyes!! We almost tossed our willow cookies watching him eat!! Well, actually Willamina did have some problems - - I guess they were like sympathy pains! Anyway she got very dizzy and almost passed out on the table! Fuzzik had 30 minutes to finish and the bottom line is since we weigh .001 oz and Fuzzik ate 5 lbs, he ate the equivalency of 80,000 willows!! That almost the entire population of willows!! There was some talk we should rename him Fuzzik Burpland as we pondered the need of rain gear just in case it started raining beans and rice!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

In case you didn’t know Cinco de Mayo stands for 5th of May!! Our family didn’t know what that meant until our cousins from Texas arrived a few days ago and shared that with us. We hadn’t ever met these cousins and boy are they ever big. You know ‘they’ (whoever they are!) say everything grows big in Texas. More about them later!

Anyway, because of all our exposure via the webernet, our cousins wanted to come up and help our little community of Netwille celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Boy did they ever! They brought Chihuahua dogs that look gigantic compared to us! They scared our little Wilena and her friends when the dog jumped up right in front of them during the parade. They were a bit afraid that maybe the dog was looking for a fire hydrant. The girls had just had their fur done for the parade and they didn’t have their umbrellas. There was a bit of fear, too, they would become the dog’s next chewy toy!

The cousins also brought a whole group of mariachi dancers and band members. Some of the local willows decided they would start their own wiliachi band and join the parade down Main Street! One of the problems though was the huge sombreros they wear. Just a bit heavy and gave most of the band members a horrible headache. Not to mention they couldn’t see very well because it covered their entire body! But being the good willow sports that they are, they gave it their best shot!

The parade was so much fun. Danwill Kinnwillow, one of the Big Kahunas from Will.Biz, was the Grand Marshall for the parade. He is a very nutty willow. Don’t give him caffeine or you will have to peel his furry self off the wall. He’s very random in speech and during the entire parade he waved and said “It’s not a fluke”. Whatever that means! Wilena and her friends who are cheerwillow leaders learned some Spanish that they cheered during the parade. “Nos encanta sauces, sí lo hacemos, el amor sauces, ¿y tú? And my favorite:
Dame una W
Dame una I
Dame una L
Dame una L
Dame una O
Dame una W
¿Qué palabra? MIMBRE

We willows need to stick together! Our Spanish isn’t great, but our hospitality and adventure in trying new things is out of the park!! We tried to mix the two cultures with Spanish and Willowness by having an authentic Fieslow/Willesta. The food was to die for. We served Guacawillo & chips, Chicken Enchiwillow Casserole, Bacon Quesawillows and Burrilows El Grande! There was a huge bowl of punch but we were a little leery of dark punch with a bunch of fruit floating in it! All in all it was a great time! A bit full from the food!! Anyone have any Tums?

Wonder Where the Wandering Willow Willy Went!

We’ve all been wondering where the wandering willow Willy went. The air force had been over by the coast near Websu Port doing some practice flight patterns, when they saw some of the Missing Willow posters. They decided to jump on board too and do a search mission, from the air, to help locate Willy Jr. Those heroic troops were being led by their brave commander, Rock Wallwillow Jackson. He’s been around for years and has led many missions. While being interviewed by K-WILO, he did say he’s never been on a mission quite like this where he was looking for something quite so small. But he is a grandfather and understands how these little furry creatures capture one’s heart.

Hang on a minute. We’re all being asked to turn on the news! There may be a sighting of Willy Jr. Oh my furry goodness! There is live coverage coming in from McWillville. It’s the home of the Always Green Aviation & Space Museum. Lots of war type aircraft are displayed there. Apparently Rock Wallwillow Jackson is escorting a huge plane and it is about to land. Oh no – the huge airplane is dive bombing into a heavily thicketed forest. Whoever is flying the plane hasn’t a clue what to do. Must be a very inexperienced pilot! The museum is saying that the plane called The Lucky Duck, built by Howie Hudson is missing and it appears this is the plane that is dive bombing. Who would try and steal that plane? It’s an antique! Who in their right mind would even think that they could get away with that? Oh no, the Lucky Duck just dropped down into the top of some trees. The other air force planes are searching for a safe spot to land so they can try to get to this priceless plane!

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fur!! I haven’t seen Willy Jr in awhile, but the little willow pilot getting out of the plane sure could pass for Willy Jr. IT IS!! He just told Rock Wallwillow his name. He’s now being escorted back to safety and is going to be held for questioning at the museum.

Details are now coming in - - Apparently the night aliens did take Willy Jr. hostage. Since they were aliens and had heard of the space museum, Willy Jr. said they thought if they could get inside, maybe they could find some sort of space craft to leave in and then ask for ransom for Willy Jr. later. Willy Jr. being the smart willow he is, waited for the appropriate moment to try and make his escape. So he ‘furtively’ got into the cockpit of the Lucky Duck, found a few boxes to prop himself up with and a bomber helmet and scarf. All decked out with his war gear on, he started pushing buttons like crazy! Unfortunately the museum doors opened and before he knew it, he was flying like never before! Willy has always been fascinated with airplanes and since he wants to be in the Willow Air force when he grows up, thought “I can do this. I’ll just fly this plane back to Websu Port!” I think not. Don’t think that worked very well for him. We are so relieved that Willy Jr. is safe, but I bet he gets ‘grounded’ for awhile!

The Willow’s Go Green! “Clean+Keen=Green”

We are still hopeful that Willy Jr. will be found. The leaders of Will.Biz have jumped in and volunteered their Willow Resource Department to help all of us out. They have set up shop at the Willow Plant since most of the community willows work there. There are five WR willows that are helping us not only with counseling regarding Willy Jr’s disappearance, but also with finding Willow-Life Balance and figuring out how interview possible incoming willow workers in our community. The Director’s name is Danilo Emberson. He is a soft spoken willow who certainly has the best interest of everyone in mind. He loves to talk and is very easy to wilate to. His wife is an artist and does beautiful work!! Gustin Dreitil is a very tall willow. Some call him Gus-Gus! He’s just a big teddy willow who loves to kid around. He has a huge dog whose name I’m quite sure is Dogzilla! Jashua Roseburg is very soft spoken and no matter what time of year, he is always wearing a scarf around his neck and he loves to walk to the different offices. I think he does that for ‘life balance’ and to clear his furry brain! B. Jam’n Shucks wears his fur in a short up-do! He’s totally into acting and video games! I’m very thankful for all the female willows that there is female for all the ‘girls’! Her name is Court’n S. Peers. With a name like that, I think she may be a bit country if you get my drift. She is a song artist and has performed on stage. What a voice! We have been following her, and I will let you know more later about our willowlationship with her!!

Now, about Willow-Life Balance. We had an all family conference this past week. WR encouraged everyone to walk over to the Willow Community Lodge, which our family did. WR says that in order for us to maintain our balance we need to go ‘green’! The schools are teaching this as well! So while I was at work, my family decided that ‘green’ meant that we needed to paint our house green! We were also told at the conference that flowers and bugs would help with the environment. So guess what?? When I came home not only was our house painted green but we had climbing flowers planted. But the bugs??? We were given bags of small lady bugs to let go in the yard. But unfortunately Wila and Weston thought that they were supposed to put them in water first. Well, they did and they grew and grew! They attached themselves to the house and I am encouraging them to sing the song: “Lady bug, lady bug, fly away home, your house is on fire and your children are gone”!

Part of Willow-Life Balance is spending “quality bonding time” with your family. Wilena and Weston rolled their eyes at first but then thought it would be fun to play a game, sort of like Hide and Go Seek. Only they wanted to add the genre of “Where’s Waldo”. They called it “Where’s Willow?” So being the good husband and father I’m trying to be, I agreed to play this game! Can you find us in the picture?


Need to sign off! It’s late and I need to prepare for work in the morning! I don’t know about you, but I’m so thankful I have a job and a wonderful willow family!

Willy Jr. is missing from Websu Port!

Just when I thought ‘life just doesn’t get any better than this’, something happened which is just so sad; but we believe with all our fur this will have a happy outcome. We just received information from Websu Port that little Willy Jr. is missing. Word travels fast and we anticipate that he will be found soon.

Apparently the last time he was seen was on or around March 31st in the late afternoon. Rumor has it that the ‘night aliens’ may have abducted him. There are posters all over the place. He is so little and this is such a great big world, it’s just hard to imagine him not where he is supposed to be. I don’t know if you remember or not, but both Willy Jr. and Wila were adopted by families in Websu Port. The monkeys that Wila lives with have really jumped on board and are being sent out with another troop of monkeys from a community on the other side of Netwille, called Billwille. Delko Willitz is spearheading the search from his end. And when I say ‘spearheading’, I mean real spears, and bows and arrows. They call themselves the Knights of Knudsias. Matu Knudsien has many monkey belts in karate and has been teaching a crash course in case the abductors of Willy Jr. are bigger than this amazing band of monkey warriors. Willy’s disappearance is all over the news, and the reporters from our local TV station K-WILO are talking to everyone. They are broadcasting the missing willow poster during every commercial break. Lil’ Willy Jr. has now been missing for approximately seven days. He doesn’t know how to swim very well, and we hope he didn’t fall into the water where Sam-I-Am lives. He was last seen with just his fur on and possibly a pair of sunglasses. He doesn’t know how to cook, and doesn’t know how to make a fire to keep warm at night. We are believing for the best.

So please if you have any information on Willy Jr. or have seen him, please contact www.adventuresofthewillowfamily.blogspot.com or phone, 1.555.wil.lows.

Happy Easter everyone.

Well I know it’s a bit early to be saying that, but we have so much to do to prepare for Sunday. What with all the parade activities, everyone is just willowing with delight! As you can see, as usual, my wife out did herself on the Easter décor-and-more! The house looks so festive, but I must admit I am struggling a bit with the whole bunny ear thing. We men willows are a bit too manly for such nonsense, but we do try to keep our wives happy. You know, ‘if mamma’s happy, everybody’s happy’, right? My wife is so special. She fell head over heals for Peter and Paula Rabbit from the Easter Patch. They have no family in town, so she invited them over for Easter Dinner. Kind of strange, they arrived today a bit early and with a lamb in toe! Paula was singing “Peter had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Peter had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow. Followed him to the Willows one day which was against the rules.” What a corny song, but we all gave her a courtesy laugh, willow style! There is an ordinance that no lambs are allowed in the city limits, so we’re not sure what to do. Can’t very well hide it, hopefully we can get an animal permit for a few days though. It will be fun having Peter and Paula here. They told us they would help in any way possible. They are so good at greeting, we thought maybe they could spend their days outside greeting people as they “willow by”! Not quite what to serve them food wise either. They are strict vegetarians. I don’t know what to call us though. We’re not really carnivorous . . . not vegetarians . . . not vegans. I guess we are will-gans. We will eat just about anything, but don’t eat much because we are just so small. They say ‘good things come in small packages’!! Speaking of ‘size’, one of Weston’s class mates, named Waverly Willow was so intrigued with Bernardo the Bunny and his large stature. Apparently Waverly has been infatuated with the Incredible Hulk since his wee-willow days and has always wanted his name to be Waverly Willow Banner. So he lagged behind to talk to Bernardo about ‘body substance and mass’. Now you tell me, do you think he needs to be tested too? We all agreed to call him Waverly Willow Banner if he was honest with us. He told us that he’s “just been eating lots of fruits and vegetables, especially grapes.” Oh brother! I know his family is concerned, however, we all encouraged his parents to enjoy Easter and then deal with it after Easter. I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter. It is truly such a special day.

Trip to the Easter Patch cont.

Whew, I’m glad those Willow Buckets were here. It could have been a very ‘wet’ day for some - - - Anyway back to the rest of our field trip. Next we came across this ginormous rabbit named Bernardo the Bunny! It took our family and the other little willows by surprise. The Easter Patch photographer said not to be afraid, that Bernardo didn’t like to eat little willows. Oh, like that made us feel better! I do believe this rabbit had been taking steroids trying to prepare for the rabbit races later in the week. I wonder if Bernardo will be pegged as one who will have to take drug testing prior to the race? Just down the patch from Bernardo there was an inflatable egg jump. We all had so much fun. It was a bit unnerving though, because it was set up on a wooden plank. Several fell off, but thank goodness we willows have so much fur, that no one got hurt. As we were coming around the final bend and heading back to the bus, we noticed this really cool looking Easter Egg cave. Of course all the kids (and us adult willows) wanted to take a peak inside. You could walk all the way to the back of the cave. There were Easter peeps, baby chickens, and little tiny lambs to look at. We got a great family picture as we were coming out of the cave. Of course by then Weston had had enough of his yellow Easter costume, so he had long taken his off. He just couldn’t be bothered by it for all the pictures. All in all, I think everyone had a great time! Can’t wait to come back next year. There is so much happening all this week as we will be celebrating Easter. There will be a parade on Wednesday in the Netwille. Our daughter, Wilena has been named the Parade Princess. She has asked us to just call her “Your Willow-ness” all this week. Don’t know if we will be able to stand all her prancing around!! But she is excited and we will all join in on her exhilaration!

Trip to the Easter Patch

Upon our return from spring break, we started noticing posters all over town advertising the West Willow Easter Patch. How appropriate, since Easter is this coming Sunday. The teachers all thought it would be a great idea to take the school kids on a field trip. Of course my wife Willamina and I thought what fun to go as chaperones! Oh my goodness, the willow shrills of delight on the bus were deafening to our furry little ears. Lucky for us the adult willows were supplied with orange ear plugs. Several of the kids thought they were baby carrots and tried eating them and got sick!! The teachers thought of everything, so they had little pink and yellow Easter costumes for all the pint sized willows. We were greeted by the Easter patch gate keepers, Peter and Paula Rabbit. Such sweet rabbits. They are retired and have lots of time on their hands. They told us that they volunteer in blue vests as greeters at the local Willmart store every Monday and Tuesday. Anyway, there was just a plethora of activities for the kids. There were willow-wheel barrow rides out to the egg hunt. They all looked so cute in their pink & yellow Easter costumes. It was kind of silly that the greeters had an Easter egg to show the kids at the gate to let them know what to look for! These eggs were about 12 times bigger than the little willows. Nice touch however to give them a head’s up!!

Another thrill was the Petting Zoo. There was a family of little lambs. Kind of strange though was the blue lamb which didn’t look anything like the other three. We were told that this lamb had been rejected by its mommy when it fell into a blue vat of Easter egg dye. Felt kind of sorry for the little one. So did our little willows. Especially Weston. He just cried and cried when he heard this story. Got to go for a minute. Some of the kids need to go use the Willow Buckets!

Happy Spring Break!

The teachers at Weston’s school, unbeknownst, to the parents, told all the students that there would be a great surprise and reward for the best paper turned in for the family immigrant’s project. Well we were pretty excited when Weston won. The reward was an all expense paid vacation for a family of four to the Great Willow Lodge, up north. There must have been someone who donated this trip because I know teachers are not paid enough for what they do!

At this writing we are taking a wee time out from all the activities. There is so much for everyone to do, including the parents. There was a bit of confusion though regarding the tanning beds. My wife and her sister, Wena, weren’t aware that the first time you “tan” you should only stay in a few minutes. After the long trip up and the weather being a bit chilly, they stayed in the beds for 2 hours. They came out very crispy and burned all their fur. You’ve heard of ‘baked Alaska’, well they are baked wil-aska! So, they are really in time out. They were told they could go down to the pool and hang out on their towels, but to stay out of the sun!



The kids are having a great time. Weston became a certified Jr. Life Guard for the day. He got to dress like a lifeguard do relay races and practice real lifeguarding skills and learn how to respond in an emergency situation. He is sitting up high on the lifeguard chair, and he certainly is keeping an eye on his mom and aunt who obviously can’t be left alone!

For the adults, there are many fun activities is in the evening! The judges from Willow Idol are here hosting a spring break singing contest. Wyman Cowillow, Eilene Dewilnerous, Raymond ‘check-it-out-willow’ Johnson and Dara DioWilardi are all here and of course it is all a buzz. There are contests every night and my family has convinced me to participate. I’m going to sing one of my favorite songs: “Fur on the ground, fur on the ground, look’n like a fool with your fur on the ground.” I will let you know how I do!

Best go; I think the charbroiled ladies could use some assistance at the pool area getting off their towels!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!

Top of the morn’in to you all!! We, the Willow Family are so excited to be celebrating this day. We had no idea that we had so much Irish fur, until Weston had to do a project at school about where and when our family emigrated from Europe. The people at Will.Biz showed Weston how to research the family tree on the computer.

He discovered that my great-great-great grandfather, Warwick Waylon O’Willow was tucked into the pocket of a little Irish boy and my great-great-great grandmother
Winifred Winona O’Willowy was tucked in the pocket of a little Irish girl. They made it off the boat intact, and started their lives in United States in little drawers in two separate wee cities in upper New York. They eventually met up at a community center for Irish immigrants, got married and started their own family. Over the years some of them have migrated to different parts of America and I can’t tell you how happy our family is to be here in Netwille.

Somewhere in the Willow family linage, the “O” was dropped from O’Willow and we became the Willow family. My great-great-great grandparents received a leprechaun statue as a wedding present which has been passed down through the years. Somehow it made it over on the boat. His name is Bonzie O’Donnell. He is very special to our family, and we weren’t sure how well Bonzi would be received here in Netwille. As you can see from the picture, all in Netwille were excited to see us decorate our front yard with him and we believe sometimes at night he moves from one side of the yard to the other. Isn’t that just like a leprechaun?

I have told you about our oldest daughter, Wilena being a teen-ager, right? “Fa-Sha” and “Nuh-ua” are just part of her vocabulary. We are trying to keep her little as long as we can but do try desperately to say yes to her whenever possible. Well - - she has asked repeatedly if she could color her fur. We have said no way! My wife got a great idea that we could all dye our fur green for St. Patrick’s Day. We thought for sure Wilenia would be all over that! But no – she thought that would be a very dumb thing to do. Kids! You just can’t figure them out, can you? Suggestions from any of you parents who are going through teen years or have already done so, would be more than welcome. We are just pulling our fur out over this!!

We hired Bee Kay Block to come and get some family portraits of us celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, and had a horrible time trying to get Wilenia to smile for the pictures. She was so embarrassed that our fur was all green! Go figure! My wife worked so diligently decorating our home and I am so proud of all her efforts

Got to go! We are having a true Irish dinner this evening: Corned Beef Hash, Irish stew, bacon and cabbage boiled in water and maybe a little Irish cream over ice cream!