Take Me Out To The Ball Game!

The employees of Will.Biz started a softball team. They were so kind to ask if we wanted to have a team, and be a part of the league. We were a bit hesitant at first since their employees are much bigger than we are and they have such long legs and arms! How in the world could this possibly be fair? It would probably take us at least 24 hours to run to even one base. Not to mention the balls that are pitched are probably about 300 times bigger than we are. Do you think they just want to ensure that their team will make it to the championship games??!! Probably not, they are just the nicest group of individuals. I think they want to encourage us to be team oriented and also what a wonderful way to work on willow-wellness. We decided ‘why not’!! We named our team the Wild Willopegs. Some of the team players changed their names so they wouldn’t seem so wee-willowish. They would rather be more like the big guys in the big leagues! So we have David Wills, Nick Willhotte, Walt Willnot and James Willowghby all on the starting team. We have had to improvise on some things though. For example, we have a cannon launcher that we pitch the balls through to the batters. Instead of the batters of the Will.Biz team running to the bases, they agreed to crawl backwards to the bases. If the ball is hit further than the cannon launcher, it’s considered an automatic out. When it is the Wild Willopeg’s time up to bat, we have been given a handicap of 1,200. Not sure what that means, but I think it is in our favor! Since the grass on the field isn’t cut real short, and we would get lost, Will.Biz has agreed to launch us through the cannon launcher to the bases. Wearing helmets is a must since we had to sign off on an injury waiver. Just think about it! We’ll go BING to the bases and shout ‘Yaaahoooo’!! A few allowances are needed for our wee willows! The game last week was rained out. We were checking the weather report on the computers provided for us and it was our understanding that if we hit the ‘refresh’ button the weather would improve. Didn’t work. Any suggestions? - - Stay tuned for more Strike one, two, three!

The Lunch Room Egg-splosion!

The lunch room at the Willow Plant is usually filled with idle willow chatter, employees checking their webernet mail, deciding what to have for lunch and comparing notes from the morning routine. On a particular day, of a particular week, of a particular month all the mundane lunch room business changed in one large POOF! Everyone was minding their own willow-business when there was a horrendous bomb sounding noise followed by a crackling sound. I turned around just in time to see the microwave door fly open and this yellow and white semi-liquid ooze came flying out of the microwave and went everywhere: Floor - - - ceiling - - - walls - - - counter - - - and for those willows who were too close, it saturated them! What a horrible smell. Two of the worst smells in the world are burning/melting plastic and burnings eggs! Put the two together and what do you get? “Ickity, Stickity Goo”! What an awful stench . . . what an awful mess . . . what a broken microwave! So the moral of this story is: If you go to heat hard boiled eggs, don’t let them slop in a plastic container and be sure and remove the egg shell!

A 5 lb Burrito!

So, in keeping with Cinco De Mayo, our community thought it would be fun stepping out of our comfort zone and host Netwille’s 1st Annual 5 lb Burrito Eating Contest. A little restaurant called Taco del Wilmar thought, “hum . . . what a great way to get some extra business.” I don’t think they were counting on the size of the male specimen who would try and eat the burrito. Nor were they prepared for the droves of spectators. There were so many that Taco del Wilmar had to hold others at bay outside the restaurant. They still got all involved and were cheering those onto victory. Our contestant literally came rumbling into town. “Fee – Fii – Foo – Fum, I smell the fur of a Willow mun” He was the most gionic giant we had ever seen! He had arms of steel, and hopefully a stomach that was going to match! He introduced himself to everyone as Fuzzik Bergland. I wonder if he was of any relation to Fezzik from The Princess Bride? Our family got front row seats to the contest. And when I say front row, I mean on Fuzzik’s arm, his shoulder and also the table. It was a bit concerning watching Fuzzik pour Tabasco sauce on his burrito. I was troubled we might get it in our eyes!! We almost tossed our willow cookies watching him eat!! Well, actually Willamina did have some problems - - I guess they were like sympathy pains! Anyway she got very dizzy and almost passed out on the table! Fuzzik had 30 minutes to finish and the bottom line is since we weigh .001 oz and Fuzzik ate 5 lbs, he ate the equivalency of 80,000 willows!! That almost the entire population of willows!! There was some talk we should rename him Fuzzik Burpland as we pondered the need of rain gear just in case it started raining beans and rice!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

In case you didn’t know Cinco de Mayo stands for 5th of May!! Our family didn’t know what that meant until our cousins from Texas arrived a few days ago and shared that with us. We hadn’t ever met these cousins and boy are they ever big. You know ‘they’ (whoever they are!) say everything grows big in Texas. More about them later!

Anyway, because of all our exposure via the webernet, our cousins wanted to come up and help our little community of Netwille celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Boy did they ever! They brought Chihuahua dogs that look gigantic compared to us! They scared our little Wilena and her friends when the dog jumped up right in front of them during the parade. They were a bit afraid that maybe the dog was looking for a fire hydrant. The girls had just had their fur done for the parade and they didn’t have their umbrellas. There was a bit of fear, too, they would become the dog’s next chewy toy!

The cousins also brought a whole group of mariachi dancers and band members. Some of the local willows decided they would start their own wiliachi band and join the parade down Main Street! One of the problems though was the huge sombreros they wear. Just a bit heavy and gave most of the band members a horrible headache. Not to mention they couldn’t see very well because it covered their entire body! But being the good willow sports that they are, they gave it their best shot!

The parade was so much fun. Danwill Kinnwillow, one of the Big Kahunas from Will.Biz, was the Grand Marshall for the parade. He is a very nutty willow. Don’t give him caffeine or you will have to peel his furry self off the wall. He’s very random in speech and during the entire parade he waved and said “It’s not a fluke”. Whatever that means! Wilena and her friends who are cheerwillow leaders learned some Spanish that they cheered during the parade. “Nos encanta sauces, sí lo hacemos, el amor sauces, ¿y tú? And my favorite:
Dame una W
Dame una I
Dame una L
Dame una L
Dame una O
Dame una W
¿Qué palabra? MIMBRE

We willows need to stick together! Our Spanish isn’t great, but our hospitality and adventure in trying new things is out of the park!! We tried to mix the two cultures with Spanish and Willowness by having an authentic Fieslow/Willesta. The food was to die for. We served Guacawillo & chips, Chicken Enchiwillow Casserole, Bacon Quesawillows and Burrilows El Grande! There was a huge bowl of punch but we were a little leery of dark punch with a bunch of fruit floating in it! All in all it was a great time! A bit full from the food!! Anyone have any Tums?